Welcome to My Bathroom
We have recently purchased a new home in advance of our move from the PNW to the great flat plains of the Midwest. When you buy a new home, you learn about many choices that other people made that would never have occurred to you. Or your best friend. Who has been at said new home while the nice man came to turn on the internet there. And so we present to you, a tour. All photos taken by Ariela Housman.
AH: We will start in a fairly normal bathroom. It is outside the bedroom, but in other circumstances that could have been forgivable.
“What’s up with the sink,” you ask? It's to match the wallpaper behind the toilet! Personally, I am inspired by the story of this plant stand, which never really felt that it fit in with the other plant stands, finding its tribe among bathroom sinks.
Behold, a bathroom!
A toilet! If the wallpaper is like any wallpaper in the rest of the house, it will peel right off.
TA: This, however, is not the most egregious bathroom in this house. There are one and a half perfectly fine bathrooms upstairs as well, they aren’t worth discussing. If they were, we’d be here all day and probably wouldn’t have bought the house.
An shower!
AH: Here is the shower. It's a fine shower. Did GC already pitch Terri and Husband Shaped Creature on installing a steam generator so that they can sit on this perfectly functional seat and enjoy a nice steam? Tell us in the comments!
TA: Did Terri & HSC say that a steam generator in one’s basement might not be best practice? Guess who is correct?
TA: If your answer at home was “all of the above,” congratulations, you have won a lifetime supply of something perfectly useless!
AH: Backing out of the bathroom, here is the relative position of the bathroom to the bedroom.
The corner where the bedroom and bathroom doors are located. You can see the very sad carpeting in the bedroom.
AH: But soft! What light through yonder doorway breaks? It is the can lighting, and it is situated above this inexplicable double vanity!
What will be my bedroom. Eventually. Note the very sad carpeting.
A vanity! Which has almost no actual storage space where storage space should go, and very damaged drawer. The mirror could be worse.
AH: Behold the vanity's companion jacuzzi tub. Behold the lack of any threshold to contain water that drips or leaks, lest it be restrained from reaching its best beloved sad carpeting. Behold the lack of any toilet that might necessitate the double vanity.
Literally, the bathroom contains a vanity, a mirror, several places to keep towels, and this… thing.
AH: But lo! I hear you say, "Do we not also behold a lack of door?" Ah, my friends! Fear not. For there are… curtain panels!!! In sooth, there are three tracks for these panels, with two panels on each track. Could anyone desire more to enclose their bathroom? (For yes, this is a true bath room. It contains a bath.)
Terri raises her hand
TA: Me! Me! I desire more!
Behold what will be my bedroom. Someday it will have furniture. Today is not that day.
TA: Behold the small area which GC thinks can fit a doorway connecting the two bathrooms! (It sure can, if you’re Ariela and GC. HSC and I, alas, are too large)
Neither HSC nor I would fit in this imaginary doorway, sadly.